


Dan Vs Family Guy

by PickleGarden



Category: Dan Vs., Family Guy (Cartoon)
Genre: Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28574823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PickleGarden/pseuds/PickleGarden
Summary: On vacation to visit Elise's grandparents.  Dan takes action when  sees Peter Griffin destroy their car.
Kudos: 1





	Dan Vs Family Guy

Riding down the streets of Rhode Island. On route to Providence, a car was coming. Inside were LA residents. Dan, Chris, and Elise. 

Dan is an angry, embittered misthantrope who was always out to destroy anyone or anything that either made him angry or rubbed him the wrong way. Chris is his friend, confidant and enabler. Elise was Chris's fiance. Who was always caught in the middle between Dan's and Chris's relationship. 

On their way to Providence to visit her grandparents. Plus a romantic getaway for Chris and Elise. Elise was questioning why Chris had to bring Dan along. They had to get to Quahog to go to their desired destination.

"Tell me again, Chris. Why did we have to drag Dan into our trip to New England to meet my Grandparents?" asks Elise. 

"Because I want to see the awesome New England sights! I've told you that many time before!" Dan spouts. 

"Wasn't talking to you, Dan! Chris you answer!" Elise says.

"Dan is right, honey. He wants to take in the scenery." Chris says. 

"Yeah, sure. I know better. I can already predict this will not have a good end." Elise said. "Dan will see something that pisses him off then you'll come running to help him. Leave me behind so you can come to his rescue. Just like always!" Elise predicted. 

"Oh it will have a good end. Trust me!" Chris tries to assure Elise. "You know, I can't be stuck in LA forever!" Dan said. 

"Here's the deal. When Chris and I go visit my grandparents. You Dan find your own way around." Elise said.

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that!" Chris quivered. "Why? Do you always have to keep your eye on him all the time? Even on vacation?" Elise asked Chris. 

"Just drop me off at the nearest motel! Go ahead and have your little fun!" Dan tells Chris and Elise. 

"Why thank you, Dan!" Chris says. "Elise and I can use this time for ourselves." "Correct there, Chris!" Elise said. The car engine begins to sputter. "OH SHIT!" Dan screams. 

"Don't you start Dan! I'll stop the car!" said Elise. Chris, Dan, and Elise got out of the car when they stopped it. Over them there was a street sign that reads, "WELCOME TO QUAHOG". Steam was coming out of the transmission.

"Great! We're stuck out in the middle of nowhere! Just like in I Spit on Your Grave!" Dan ranted. "Uh, Dan. We don't need your help here. Elise and I will do fine." Chris tells his friend. 

"A gas station should not be too far away from here." Elise suggested. As they three of them were trying to find their way to the nearest gas station, a few miles away. Dan joked, "You don't need a gas station! You ought to call a tow truck!" A steamroller is heard. Dan was immediately suspicious.

"Did any of you hear that sound?" Dan asks out loud. "No we didn't hear anything!" Chris said. "You're probably just wanting Chris's attention! You know I don't believe you, right?" Elise said. Dan turns around and sees a fat man with glasses, brown hair, a white blouse, green pants and brown shoes on the steamroller. The man on the steamroller was Peter Griffin. 

"Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! I LOVE THIS STEAMROLLER! This is holy freaking sweet!" Peter giggled in a drunken manner. 

Not looking where he was going, Peter Griffin used the steamroller and ran over Chris's and Elise's car. A huge crunching sound was heard. Dan saw everything and screamed in an violent rage.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! OOOOUUUURRRR CCCCCCAAAAARRRRRR!" 

Elise and Chris turned to see the disaster that had been committed before them. Both gasp in shock and horror.

"Cannonball Run! Cannonball Run! Cannonball Run Two! Better than the original!" Peter sang happily and drunk. 

Elise and Chris were mortified. "Guess we should've believed you, Dan." Elise said. "We have no car! Your grandparents live miles off! What are we going to do!" Chris screeches. 

Dan takes a look at Peter. "Hey, wait a minute! I know who ran over our car!" 

"How would you know, Dan!" Elise asked off the cuff.

"He's that fat asshole from that cartoon Family Guy! Peter Griffin!" Dan pointed out. "Really? Seriously? Thought that guy was just an urban legend!" Chris says. 

"I was the one who saw him." Dan tells them. "Are you sure it was the Peter Griffin?" asks Chris. "Of course, look for yourself!?" Dan yells at Chris. "This is gotta see." Elise says rolling her eyes. 

Chris and Elise watch Peter from a distance and now know that Dan was telling the truth. 

"Wow!" Elise said. "It really is him." Chris observes. 

"See! What did I tell you! Peter Griffin lives here in Rhode Island and now he has annihilated our car!" Dan gruffs. 

"We should've left him in LA!" Elise whispered to Chris. Dan falls to his knees. Now he was on his next vengeful escapade. 

"YOU'RE ARE GOING DOWN, PETER GRIFFIN!" Dan screams. 

A Title Card Reads, "DAN VS FAMILY GUY".

Walking along in the woods, Chris and Elise try to find somewhere where they can use a phone. "We got our cellphones. Can't we use those?" asks Chris. 

"WiFi never works outside and you know it." Elise said. Chris sees a bar. "We can try that place The Drunken Clam." 

"Who cares where we go! I just want to track down Peter Griffin so I can kick his fat ass!" Dan makes a vow. 

Going inside the Drunken Clam, Chris, Dan, and Elise are greeted by Jerome. "Hello, what can I do you for?" asked Jerome. "Hi, we're from out of town and we want to use the phone." said Chris. "Why do you need the phone?" asked Jerome. "Our car broke down." said Elise. "Oh sure. Right this way." Jerome says leading Chris and Elise to the phone.

Sneaking off, Dan sees a phonebook. "Hmm, Peter Griffin. Hope he's in the Yellow Pages!" Dan said. Trying to look for Peter Griffin's address, Dan does not see his name listed anywhere. "Dammit! How can I get back at Peter Griffin if I don't know his address!" Dan shouted. 

Dan goes inside his pocket and takes out his cellphone. "A-ha! I'll just try the website People Find!" Determined as ever to go after Peter Griffin, Dan hooks up his cellphone to WiFi. 

Chris and Elise were done with the phone. Dan is immediately distracted. "Oh hey Dan. Good news." says Elise. "You found Peter Griffin?" Dan asked in a maddening way. "Uhh, no. Her Grandparents agreed to pick us up. They're going to let us use their car for the week while we're here." Chris tells him.

"Whatever you do, don't bother us!" warns Elise. "Yes she's right. I'm staying by my woman here." Chris stands his ground.

"You mean, you're not going to help me destroy Peter Griffin?" asked Dan. "Nope, you're on your own there. We told you to stay away while we're here in Rhode Island." said Elise. 

"Fine! Always known you were a pussy, Chris. Have fun at Granny's and Grand pops!" Dan sneered at them. "Grand Pops? Did you get that from The Sting?" asked Chris.

"Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't!" Dan spat. "This will be a good opportunity for you, Chris." said Elise. "How so?" he asked. "Let Dan do this on his own and not have to be obliged to help him." said Elise. "You're right." said Chris. "Who needs Chris, anyway! I'll do this myself!" Dan said.

Elise and Chris exit the Drunken Clam. Dan hears some voices of four men walking into the Drunken Clam. One of the voices he hears is Peter Griffin. "That's him!" Dan whispered to himself. 

Running into the Men's Room, Dan decides to spy on Peter. Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire were leading Peter to their favorite booth in the bar.

"So Peter. How did you like your steamroller?" asked Cleveland. "It was awesome. I ran over a car with it!" Peter laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like you! Hope the car didn't belong to anybody!" Joe said. "Where did you get it?" asked Quagmire. "On Craig's List. It was only five dollars so I went for it!" Peter explains. 

Dan continues to spy on Peter, thus getting annoyed by his friends. "Who are those asshole's he's hanging out with? They're so irritating!" Dan thinks to himself. 

As Chris and Elise were on their way to her Grandparents house. Dan stays at the Drunken Clam and ends up spying on Peter Griffin for four long hours before he, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire decide to go home. 

Dan growls and moans in disgust, "Come on! How long can one stay in a bar for so fucking long!" 

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Once Peter, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire left. That's when Dan decides to make his move. "I'll follow him home." Dan said. 

Going into his car Peter says, "Bye Joe! Bye Cleveland! Bye Quagmire!" "Drive safely!" Joe said. As Peter drives away, he was still hollering Bye to his friends which leaves Dan boiling upset. "The more annoying this guy is. The more I want to hurt him!" Dan says to himself. 

Watching Peter drive in his car, Dan tries to think of a way to follow him. "We don't have a car thanks to that fat fuck......Chris told me to leave him alone.......hmmmm.....what to do what to do......." Running into an alley, Dan takes an old bike and proceeds to follow Peter. 

"That's right, Peter Griffin! Go right on home! I'll be waiting!" Dan cackles as he rides the bike and follows Peter home. 

As Peter drove home, Dan is going to hide away. "Okay, better stay out of sight." Dan said to himself. Peter uses the front door and is greeted by his family. "Hey, Lois!" Peter announces himself. "Peter! You're home!" Lois cheers. 

Staying out of sight, Dan looks though a window and watches Peter and Lois have a conversation, but he can't hear what they were saying. Dan was mostly staring at Lois. "Woah! Who's the hot chick! Peter doesn't deserve her, that's for sure!" 

Inside the Griffin house, Brian walks into Stewie's bedroom and sees that Stewie was building something. "So, Stewie. What's your latest invention today?" asked Brian. Stewie was rebuilding the car that Chris and Elise were driving earlier. "I'm renovating this car that the fat man ran over with that fucking stupid steamroller." Stewie explains. 

"Why would you want to do that for?" asks Brian. "So I can enter the Quahog Grand Prix! Just like James Garner in that movie!" Stewie says. 

Dan still watching Peter gets his cellphone to call Chris. "Hey, Chris!" 

Chris answers, "What is it, Dan?" 

"I found Peter Griffin!" said Dan.

"That's nice. Let me guess you want me to do something about it." Chris said.

"Yes, would you like to help me....." Dan says as he was about to finish, Chris cuts him off. "Not this time. You know the deal." Chris said. 

"I know, you think you could at least sneak away without Elise knowing and....." Dan tries to talk Chris into helping him but fails. Once Chris hung up, he could not help but feel a little guilty. "Maybe I should've offered to help Dan." Chris thinks out loud. Elise walks up to Chris from another room, "Chris? There you are! Come on, my grandparents are going to make us some dinner!" Elise tells her boyfriend.

"On second thought, perhaps not." Chris says. Going to join Elise and her grandparents. 

Day turned into night back at the Griffin house. Dan began to stink because he was nervous and shaky to exact his plan to attack Peter Griffin. The Griffins had gone to bed. Dan tries to find a way to sneak inside the house. He sees the window that leads to Stewie's bedroom and wants to use that. The window was open. 

"This Griffin family don't take home security too seriously! Oh well too bad for them!" Dan said climbing up the house to the window where Stewie's bedroom was. "Check me out, I'm like Jet Li in Cradle To the Grave!" 

Finally made his way into Stewie's bedroom. Much to his surprise, he sees Chris's and Elise's car all fixed up. "Holy crap! How in the......I can use that!" Dan said. Waiting until the morning, Dan hides under Stewie's crib to sleep. 

"Sleep tightly Peter Griffin. For there will be lesser and lesser nights in which you will sleep!" Dan spoke in a low toned and threatening voice. 

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Morning had come. Stewie wakes up and sees the car and says, "I will win first place when I enter you in that race! Now don't go away!" Stewie rushed downstairs to join Brian, Peter, and Lois. Dan crawled out from under Stewie's bed. Worried he will be noticed, Dan hides in Stewie's closet and sees his weapons room and time machine. 

"Where the fuck did all this come from? Did the baby do all this?" Dan ponders. The Griffin engage in conversation. "Hey, Peter. Ready to go for another round on your steamroller?" asked Brian cynically. "I think I'm kind of over that now." said Peter. "That's our Peter, he always moves onto something else." laughs Lois. Stewie tells Brian, "When I race in that Quahog Grand Prix, you're not invited!" "I don't want to be a part of it anyway!" Brian spits back.

Lois tells everyone, "I'm going to get groceries today at that new Mega Mart that's miles from here. So Peter, you're in charge while I'm away." "Aww, sweet!" said Peter. "Be responsible whatever you do!" Brian advised Peter. 

"All right!" Peter rolled his eyes. "Now when I come back I want you to help me bring in the groceries. I'm taking Chris and Stewie with me." Lois tells her husband. 

Lois prepares to get groceries. Chris was already in the Griffin's family car honking the horn. "COME ON! I WANNA GO! YOU PROMISED WE WERE GOING TO SIX FLAGS!" Chris yells out. "Come on Stewie." said Lois taking him to the car. "BLAST! I had some more work to do on my race car!" Brian decides to go with Lois. Have some time to yourself Peter, you earned it." 

Dan hears everything, "YES! Peter is all alone now! I have him exactly where I want him!" 

"OKay bye! Bring me back some beer!" Peter called out. Now all alone, with no clue that Dan was out to get him. Peter is about to experience the biggest terror of his life. 

Turning on the TV Peter says, "Okay! Now! Let's see what Disney + has to offer!" 

Dan goes inside Chris's and Elise's car and drives down the stairs in it. In an attempt to sneak up from behind. "Hope Fraggle Rock is on here. I want to see that Doozers episode about REV!" Peter speaks. 

Inside the car, Dan after driving down the stairs, now has Peter in his sites. By being right next to him. 

Peter turns around and sees the car, "Oh, hello Mr. Car! Do you want to watch some good old Disney + with me?" 

The engine revved, Peter talks, "Woah! A little feisty are we?" 

The car revved up again and slowly charges at Peter. "Uhhh, why are you doing this? You don't want to hurt me, do you?" 

Dan screams, "DIE!" as he drives and chases Peter around in the house. Scared out of his wits, Peter runs away.

"AAAAAHHHHH! HHHEEELLLLPPPP! Holy freaking crap! You're like an evil Herbie!" Peter cries in fear. 

"Peter Griffin! You destroyed my friends car with your stupid ass steamroller. Now I'm going to break you! How about we play a little game! I'm Woody Allen, and you're Janet Margolin!" 

"I've seen that part in Take The Money and Run, but I never thought this would happen to me!" Peter retorted. 

"Accept your fate, asshole! You're going down!" Dan shouts at Peter. "Oh yeah? Let's see you drive upstairs!" Peter dared him.

Dan drove the car upstairs. Peter could not believe Dan was able to drive upstairs in the car. Peter was cornered with nowhere to go. Then he gets an idea. "I know! I'll hide in Meg's room!" 

Meg was inside her room playing with her iphone. Peter barges in and pants as if he were out of breath. "Dad? What's going on?"

"A crazy lunatic is chasing me around in a car. He'll never find me here." Peter informs his daughter. 

"Why do I always get dragged into your shit?" Meg whines. However, Dan was able to find him by crashing into Meg's bedroom, causing destruction to everything inside.

Meg shrieks, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! My ROOM!" Dan gets out of the car, "Surrender Peter Griffin! You can either come quietly or I'll have to use excessive force!" 

"Sounds like somebody has been watching too much CSI! NO! I'm not going anywhere with you!" Peter fights back.

"All right, you asked for it!" Dan says going back in the car to start it up again. Peter grabs Meg, "Please! Please! Spare me! Don't kill me! Here! Take Meg instead!" 

"DDAAADDD!" Meg squeaks. 

"No dice!" Dan said. Inside the car, Dan finds a crowbar. "Have a better idea." Dan says to himself. Coming out of the car, Dan clobbers both Peter and Meg with the crowbar. Dan throws Meg out of the house and feeling some rush of adrenaline within him, Dan carried Peter into the car. 

"You're mine now Peter Griffin! All mine!" Dan says victoriously. Dan drives the car out of the house leaving a huge hole. Peter was knocked out. As Dan drives down the streets of Quahog, he calls Chris on his cellphone.

"Oh hey Dan!" Chris said answering his cellphone. 

"Well, I did it! I got him!" said Dan.

"Got who? Did what?" asked Chris.

"Peter Griffin! Now what I need you to do is stay by your cellphone." Dan informs Chris.

"Not a problem for me." Chris tells Dan. Who then gives in and wants to join Dan. Just as always.

"Good! When I get Peter Griffin inside a remote location. I'll call you and I want to come to and help me." Dan demanded.

"Sure. I can do that. I'll try to...." Chris conversates with Dan on the cellphone until Elise stopped him.

"Who are you calling?" Elise asks. "Oh, uhh, I just entered a sweepstakes! Yeah that's it!" Chris tells Elise. "Whatever. Now come on! My grandparents want us to play Bingo!" Elise orders Chris. 

"Why do old people love Bingo so much." Chris said. 

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Coming back from the new grocery store, Lois was driving back home. As soon as she pulled up in the driveway, Brian saw a huge gaping hole from the side of the house in Meg's bedroom.

"Uhhh, Lois. Think you might want to take a look at this." Brian tells her. Lois freaked out as soon as she saw the hole in her house.

"Oh, no! What in the world happened?!" Lois shouts. "Wonder what Dad is up to this time?" asked Chris excitedly. 

"Peter! He's always done destructive things like this. Brian, go around and try to look for him." Lois orders Brian. "Right Lois." 

When Brian looks around the house, he sees that Peter is nowhere in sight. Stewie goes with him, "I wanna see!" 

Lois waited with bated breath when Brian reported back to her. Just as he was about to, Stewie noticed the car he was going to use that Peter ran over earlier via the steamroller that really belonged to Elise was gone.

"MMMMMYYYY CCCCCCAAAAAARRRRRR! MMMMMMMYYYYY CCCCCAAAAAARRRRRRR! Somebody stole my car!" Stewie whined loudly. Brian intervenes, "Stewie, that car didn't belong to you in the first place." "Now I'll never win the Quahog Grand Prix!" Stewie begins to sob. "You're a smart baby, make your own car. Build it from scratch! You have built time machines and other inventions centuries ahead of our time!" Brian tells the baby.

Stewie soon stops crying, "Hey you're right. That's exactly what I'll do!" Lois asks Brian, "Did you see any sign of Peter?" "I'm afraid not, Lois. He's no where to be seen!" Brian said. "Maybe he feels so bad about destroying the house, he ran away." Lois said. "No you and I both know that's no Peter's style." Brian told her. 

"If that's not the case, that can only mean one thing...." Lois concluded. Brian thinks loudly, "I'm putting two and two together here. The broken side of the house indicates a break in.......*gasp*! CALL THE POLICE! HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!" 

"Who in the fuck would want to kidnap the Fatman? Gay sexual gratification? Fat fetish maybe?" Stewie pondered.

Lois goes to call Joe Swanson. Meanwhile, at the house where Elise's Grandparents lived. Chris and Elise got done playing Bingo with them.

"Wow, great game of bingo here, Harry!" said Chris to Elise's Grandfather who's name was Harry. "Get 'em all the time!" Harry bragged. "You ought to see him play Jenga!" laughed June who was Elise's Grandmother. "So, what do you guys want to do next?" asks Elise. 

"How about we go fishing?" suggests Harry. "OKay, fishing it is!" Elise cheers. "Get your gear on, hope you brought your fishing pole, Chris." challenged June. "Oh you know what. I'm actually allergic to fish. Guess I'll sit this one out." Chris says. 

"That's fine. You can join us in our next activity." said Harry as he, June, and Elise were getting ready to go fishing. Elise looks at Chris as he walks out, "Allergic to fish? Since when?" she thinks to herself. Chris used this as an opportunity to go help Dan. Chris's cellphone rang. "Hey, Dan!" Chris answers. 

"Chris! Shut up and listen to me very closely." Dan says. "Fine." Chris spoke. "I'm in a cabin in the wooden area here in Quahog. I got Peter Griffin with me. Now what I need you to do is go to the store and bring me some duct tape. Repeat duct tape." Dan orders Chris. 

"Sure, duct tape it is! Over and out." Chris says. Now Chris was on his way to the store to get some duct tape. In the cabin area, Dan was kicking Peter's body as he was still knocked out from the crowbar. 

"Take this! Take this! And that! And that! And that!" Dan yells on top of his lungs as he was kicking Peter Griffin. Chris went in the store to get some duct tape, then he used an APP on his cellphone to track down the wooden cabin where Dan was holding Peter Griffin hostage. 

Slowing lifting his eyelids, Peter Griffin sees Dan standing over him. "Who are you?" Peter asked weakly. Then he takes a glimpse of Dan's shirt that reads JERK. "Is your name, Jerk? Pretty cool name. Why can't my name be Jerk?" Peter laughs in a weakened way. Chris found his way to the wooden cabin and got the duct tape.

"ABOUT TIME!" Dan shouts at Chris. "Elise and her grandparents went fishing. I told them I was allergic so I managed to sneak away!" Chris explains. 

"I didn't want to hear a story. Now, help me hold this asshole in place!" Dan demanded Chris. 

Handing the duct tape to Dan, Chris wrapped some around Peter's wrists on the chair in which he was sitting. "How's this?" asked Chris. 

"Ehh, good enough!" Dan said. Then Dan wrapped the duct tape around Peter's torso then around his knees. Peter horribly beaten says, "Why are you guys doing this to me?" 

"You know why? I saw you run over my friend's car with a steamroller!" Dan said. Chris sees Elise's car that Dan used to kidnap Peter and says, "I think you can let him go now. For some reason Elise's car is all fixed!" Chris said.

"Oh, no! That's not going to get him off the hook, Chris. Maybe that baby of his fixed the car." Dan implies. Peter defends himself, "I was just trying to have some fun with my steamroller. Thought that car was empty and nobody owned it." That was the best Peter could come up with. Considering Peter was drunk and didn't see their car when he ran it er. 

"Hey, Peter." Dan walks to him nonchalantly. "You like cutaway gags, right?" "What are you going to do here, Dan?" asks Chris nervously. "It's one of the my favorite things. Ever heard that song from The Sound of Music?" asked Peter.

"I don't do musicals. I'm going to do a cutaway of my own!" Dan said. Peter begins to get scared. "What is your plan for a cutaway?" 

"I'm having lots of fun! Even more fun than that time I kicked Peter's Griffins' ass!" Dan says who then begins to pound on Peter mercilessly. 

Peter screams and yells in pain, Chris watches on. As if he didn't know what to do. see ov

Dan knocks Peter into in unconscientiousness again. "Geez, I hope you didn't kill him! Last thing I need is to be involved in a murder!" Chris says. "I didn't kill him. I was doing this for you and Elise!" Dan said. 

"Yeah, kind of figured that." said Chris. Dan and Chris went into their cars. "Man that felt so good!" Dan said in content. 

"Better hope the police don't find out." Chris warns him.

Chris goes into Elise's car and Dan follows him by driving in Harry's car.

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Joe Swanson was in a police car, trying to track down Peter's location. Lois, Brian, and Stewie were in the police car too. 

"I really want to thank you helping us find Peter, Joe." Lois extends her gratitude. "Peter's a friend. I never turn my back on him." Joe tells her.

Brian has a shirt of Peter's and begins to sniff around, he latches onto Peter's scent. "Think I know where Peter could be." 

Stewie says, "Oh great. Why do I sense a Lassie scenario is going to occur?" 

Pointing to the woods Brian tells Joe, "You might want to try that wooden cabin. Peter is in there, I just know it!"

"Headed over there right now!" Joe said. "LET'S DO IT!"

"You're been a great help with this, Brian! I really should stop taking you for granted." Lois tells the dog. "Don't worry, I'm used to it!" said Brian.

Joe drove to the cabin, and broke in. "FREEZE! POLICE!" 

All Joe, Lois, Brian, and Stewie can see was emptiness in the cabin. Until they stop him. Peter Griffin was sitting on the chair, waking up from being beaten. He was still duct taped. 

"PETER! PETER! Oh you look terrible." Lois cries. Brian checks his vitals, "He's alive." Stewie scoffed, "Are you some kind of doctor or something?" "Stewie, just because you couldn't enter that stupid race. You've been trying to take it out on me." Brian talked at Stewie.

Joe unties Peter, "Are you okay? Speak to me." Peter responds, "Joe? Joe? Is that you?" "Yes it is!" Joe answers. "I'm here too, honey!" Lois tells him.

"This is important, Peter. Who did this to you?" asked Joe. "Uhhh, a black guy named Jerk. Can't really remember." Peter slurred his words. 

"We'll try to put an All Points Bulletin on some black guy named Jerk." Joe says. 

"We may never know who did this. Important thing is Peter is okay." Brian said. "We'll let it go for now. If Peter ever does remember, then we'll reopen the case." Joe said. "Sounds good to me." Lois said. "In the meantime, my parents can pay for the damage of the house." Lois continued. "Exactly, they'll be happy to help you when you tell them Peter didn't do it." Brian said. 

Peter gets helped by Lois, Joe, and Brian to get into the car and drive him to the hospital. In the days to come, Peter Griffin made a full recovery. Unfortunately, will never remember that Dan kidnapped and beat him senseless for running over Elise's car with a steamroller. 

As Dan and Chris drove back to Harry's and June's house. Elise ran out. "Where have you been, Chris?" she asked. Not wanting her to know that Dan had helped Chris apprehend Peter Griffin, Chris said, "Me and Dan got our car fixed!" 

"Yeah, we did! We found a decent auto mechanic and I paid for it no sweat!" Dan said. Elise said, "Wow! I guess you did. Thank you!" 

"Just be glad we got our car back!" Chris laughs. Harry and June come out, "What're you all waiting for! Let's play Monopoly!" Elise told her Grandparents, "We'll be there!" Elise asks Chris, "Did Dan try to go after that Griffin Peters guy or whatever his name is?" "Oh, you mean Peter Griffin? No. I talked him out of that." said Chris. "That he did! Never you fear! I forgot all about him!" Dan said. Then Dan looks away and gets an evil grimace on his face feeling satisfied that he had gotten revenge on Peter. And had gotten away with it.

In the next day after, Elise, Dan, and Chris were going to leave Harry's and June's house. After they thanked them for their hospitality, Dan, Chris, and Elise go into her car and drive off. 

Elise had no clue that Dan had caused trouble and Chris went to help him out with the whole Peter Griffin debacle. 

"I should bring you guys on vacation more often!" Elise said. "Yep, you can always trust us!" Chris said proudly. "You yes, but Dan, not to much!" Elise laughed. 

"HA! HA! Hilarious!" Dan said. 

Elise, Dan, and Chris all drive to a motel to stay for the remainder of their vacation in Rhode Island. Once they get settled the day after. As the three of them were about to go into Elise's car. They find it to be broken again.

Chris screams, "AAAAAAHHHHH! NOT AGAIN!" "IS THIS FUCKING DEJA VU!" Dan screams. "My car is broken again! Who could've done such a thing!" Elise panicked. 

Coming out of the shadows, Stewie Griffin introduces himself to Dan, Chris, and Elise. Standing on Elise's broken up car Stewie said, "That is what you get for taking my car away from me! I was going to use this car for a Grand Prix race! If I can't have it, nobody can!" 

Chris and Elise screamed at Stewie. "D...did that baby just talk?" Chris whimpered. Brian comes and drags Stewie back home, "For the last time, that car did not belong to you!" 

Dan was feeling his need for revenge and madness surge inside him again. Falling to his knees and holding his fists up in the sky, Dan screams...

"SSSSTTTTTEEEEEEEWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"


End file.
